Hello beautiful people! It’s officially 2015! There is so much beauty in new beginnings!
2014 is over. It’s the past. And good riddance! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Actually do. 2014, go kick rocks with socks on. And don’t come back!
I would say that 2014, especially the summer, was the hardest year of my life. It was an even worse summer than when I had a nervous breakdown two years ago. It was even worse than the summer when my brother died, eight years ago.
In 2014, I watched my best friend get raped right in front of me. I fell apart. I watched her fall apart. Later I had the privilege of being raped myself. Twice. Exactly 1 month apart. First by a drug dealing gang member, then by a lying asshole who took advantage of my vulnerability and fear. Then the bestie and my favorite baby moved halfway across the country. She needed to go for her own sanity. But it still broke my fucking heart. I spent much of the year lonely and in a deep depression. My anxiety is at an all time high. It’s never been this bad before.
But, and there’s always a but, these negative experiences have led to some beautiful moments. For example, if this whole chain of events hadn’t been put in motion, I never would have met the man. My life was not on a path to cross his. But Autumn brought us together and it’s been absolutely wonderful. Another silver lining? I’ve gotten closer to my friends and made awesome new friends who I have a feeling are going to stick around for a while. There aren’t words to express how happy this makes me.
I remain optimistic about 2015! Good things are happening and I expect that trend to continue. I’m turning 31, which excites me to no end. And I’m surrounded by people who care about me.
I’ve never been big on new years resolutions, but I do like to decide on an overall theme for the year and try to live those values. My theme for 2015 is: Love. Write. Heal. I’m determined to love hard and freely, write my ass off with brutal honesty, and do the work to heal myself from my emotional wounds. And those are my wishes for all of us this year:
May we give and receive love freely. We deserve it.
May we be brave and write honestly about what hurts.
May we let go of fears and limiting beliefs that get in the way of our healing.
Happy 2015 to all of my fellow tea drinkers!